This week is the last week of school. Last week I did papers and turned in projects. This week, I have three finals and a large take at home essay final. As I come to the end of the semester, I look forward to a month's break and then the beginning of the next semester.
I have to say that while I have enjoyed some of my classes, this doesn't feel like retirement. It feels way to much like work. I enjoy the normal pace of my days. All the normal everyday things I do are important to me, be they volunteering, sewing, the business end of sewing, or lazy times around the house. Going to school full time has ruined that pace, and I have had to eliminate some important activities from my schedule, including my Wednesday sewing group.
I also need to admit to myself that while in an ideal world I would get a job as a translator and move to Germany, the reality may be different. This is especially true at my age. While much of the money I receive is award money, some portion of my financial aid package involves loans. I already have some loans due to helping my son with his schooling. I have no desire to be paying student loans into my eighties.
I won't be giving up school. Instead, I will be taking a class or two each semester, and next semester I've decided I will take exactly what I want. Degree requirements will not enter the picture, and I'll probably be taking watercolor painting (so that I can design) my own fabrics and a literature class as well. I like going to school-when I want to go to school.
I wont say this semester was a mistake, because it was a learning experience. As I said, there are some classes that were very engaging, especially my physical anthropology class. At this point in my life though, I would rather concentrate on what I want to do instead of what I have to do. Admittedly, occasionally those "have tos" enter our lives. In my case I suppose my need to bring in money with my sewing is a "have to". But I control the timing and the amount of those endeavours. And any commitment I make is short term rather than the length of a two year degree.
Life is about learning and experimenting at any age. This semester has been both of those-but now I'm ready to more forward in a different area. After all, I can always change my mind.
Note: I've shocked even myself, by the way. Before Magic became ill we were looking at adopting a playmate for him-a companion if you will. I had thought I would wait to reconsider that until the new year. The foster mom called today and asked if we would like to take Trevor for a few days while she traveled and I think we will do that. It's not what I planned. But we had already talked about this dog, and Magic was very old and we knew it would happen-we had time to prepare ourselves. I miss having a dog near me at night (in the bed) and a dog greet me when I come in the house........if it's meant to be, it will be. If not, then we'll try again later.