Monday, July 6, 2015

Marriage Equality - Monday Musings

It's been a really busy couple of weeks at the Supreme Court, if you know what I mean.  While I rarely talk about politics on this blog, this is one of those cases where I simply have to share my thoughts-along with a few memes I could not resist.

First, and foremost, for all those who feel that they are being bullied, trampled on on losing their freedoms:  It's not bullying, it's not discrimination when someone gets the exact rights that you already had and have enjoyed all your lives. Pure and simple. Bringing someone into the fold, and allowing them to experience the same inalienable rights as yourself neither diminishes you or your beliefs. For those who disagree, consider-do you really want to be conservative religion's equivalent of the KKK in twenty years? You can be like those old white guys who figure they lost their right to their own way of life in 1960, or you can learn to live with and among people different from yourself.  Which way would you prefer your children (who approve of gay marriage by about an eighty percent margin) to think of you later  I say that as an extremely religious person.

This past week in Texas a couple got married. They had been a couple for 54 years.  I mean really, now many marriages, heterosexual or otherwise, last for 54 years.  The fact that they had to wait so long is unforgivable and I celebrate with them.

Invariable, when this topic comes up, someone who opposed gay marriage (or is non the fence about it) points to a couple they know, who think the whole marriage thing "just really doesn't matter". Two things. Either they are lying because they don't want to offend you, or they are afraid if they voice the opposite opinion, you won't approve.  Just as there are some heterosexual couples who don't think they need the institution of marriage (my daughter and her long term partner come to mind) there are gay couples who have the same attitude.  Most couples, gay or straight, want to get married eventually-or at least want to know that if the time comes when they choose to do that, the ability is there.

Marriage is a civil institution (always) and a religious institution (sometimes). No one can force you to allow gays to marry in your church. If you and your church oppose gay marriage, you are free to do that-for now or as long as you see fit. That has not changed. Some churches, many churches even (including mine), will in fact marry gays and have gay weddings-heck, the bishop of Alabama has already said he will do so. You are free to choose a church and worship with people who think like you do. 

In civil terms however, in the business world, you need to behave as you would have to in all other circumstances. If my gay sister in-law travels to your state with your wife and she falls ill, you need to recognize her rights as a family member to make health decisions about her partner.  You need to acknowledge her parental rights if she vacations with her child in your state, and the child needs medication or to go to the emergency room.

And finally-things aren't going to change. Oh, I expect that a few states (including my previous home), will spend millions upon millions of taxpayer money better spent, in order to appeal, argue and challenge. In the end, things will be the same. To change it will require an amendment to the constitution, and quite frankly, 3/4 of the American population is not opposed to gay marriage-far from it.

So find a way to worship as you wish and live as you wish in privacy, and adjust to it and get on with it in your day to day lives. I expect you'll be much more content.

And so it goes..............back to frugal retirement living on Wednesday!



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